why i`m doing this

my friend keep asking me, apsal tiba2 bt blog plk? i will tell the whole world about it; to be honest i`m deeply in pain.. i`m suffering.. i`m hurt.. never felt like this before, even when my father passed away 12 years ago. i already try other way to throw it far far away but i`m failed. maybe when i`m writing the feeling will evaporate slowly..